[Because] EVERYTHING should taste like BACON...
http://www.baconnaise.com
Bacon flavored mayonnaise, y'all.
They also make Bacon Salt, which I purchased earlier today. I'm a little concerned about the potential taste, as 1) I purchased it from a store that also sells "Rap Snax" and 2) The item is clearly marked vegetarian.
On the up side, however, they brag that each serving (1/4 tsp) only contains 137 mg sodium. That can't be too bad, right?
RIGHT?!
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
There's cursing in this...
Do not click on it if you are a fscking pussy. You asshole.
Sony Releases New Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work
Found at John Sibley's; foryourentertainment.blogspot.com
Sony Releases New Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work
Found at John Sibley's; foryourentertainment.blogspot.com
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
FROM THE EMAIL.....
It is important in life to reach out, to strive for greater achievements, to go for that greener grass that is on the other side of the fence.....
BUT ONE MUST ALSO BE CAREFUL
SOMETIMES YOU CAN REACH TOO FAR!
But when you find yourself over-extended and you're stuck in a situation that you can't get out of, there is one thing you should always remember.......
YOUR GOVERNMENT IS THERE TO HELP YOU!
BUT ONE MUST ALSO BE CAREFUL
SOMETIMES YOU CAN REACH TOO FAR!
But when you find yourself over-extended and you're stuck in a situation that you can't get out of, there is one thing you should always remember.......
YOUR GOVERNMENT IS THERE TO HELP YOU!
The Mating Habits of the Tube Sock
The mating habits of the Tube Sock
By Stew Magoo
Tube Sock Origins
One foggy morning in Maine at the turn of the 20th century, an artisan with cold feet and ankles
discovered something that would rock the world of sockwear forever; The Tube Sock.
The Tube Sock or Soccus pes Occulto is indigenous to the North America continent. Tube Socks live an average of three years. The biggest predator to the Tube Sock is the Washing Machine. The Washing Machine, while benign to humans, can consume it's weight in Tube Socks in a month. It's frequently found lounging in a smallish den near the male of the species, The Dryer. The dryer also consumes the Tube Sock but not in the gastric extremes seen by The Washing Machine.
Mating Habits
The mating habits of the Tube Sock bear witness to the miracle of life. When two Tube Socks meet, and the timing is right, sparks can fly. The female Tube Sock will sometimes keep the male Tube Sock in the dark as to her intentions due to shyness or just being plain annoyingly female. This can cause a tremendous amount of male Tube Sock frustration and The male Tube Sock will often see the f
emale Tube Sock for the first time only RIGHT BEFORE being eaten by a passing Washing Machine. While tragic, this happens.
Sock Sex
The actual sex act between the male and female of the Tube Sock species is a sight to behold. The male will hold the female closely and softly kiss the neck, paying special attention to the area right below the ears. This area is known to be highly sensetive and will often produce a tingly sensation in the female which leads to a blush and stiffening of the sock nipples. The male of the species is highly aroused by sock nipple stiffening and responds with a stiffening of its own. Younger males will rush into sock intercourse but the older males realize that making sweet sock love can be a
lenghty process only completed after several sock orgasms are experienced by the female Tube Sock.
Paying special attention to the toes, the male will work it's way up and down the body of the female and will massage and pay special attention to the sock erogenous zones. The inside of the sock thighs are an especially desirable area for the male Tube Sock.
The female will signify her willingness to engage in sock intercourse by breathing heavily, blushing, showing the fullness of her lips and often by licking her lips and generally being a sock ho. Then she shows her hole to the male Tube Sock and it's on. Brown chicken, brown cow.
Tube Socks and marriage
Tube Socks are generally monogamous (if they know what's good for them according to female Tube Socks) but are often attracted by other Tube Socks. Some Tube Socks will stray from species sex and pursue Dress Socks and even Pantyhose but this is rare. When a male Tube Sock is ready to make a commitment, er be committed, he'll often produce a rock and stick it on the sock finger. This is generally a bad idea and will lead to sock weight gain, irritablity, upset sock bowels, a propensity for sock shopping, whining, nagging, general discontent and sock malaise. Often after several months or years baby Tube Socks, or diminutive socks in general will appear and cause even greater stress, whining and gnashing of sock teeth.
In closing, the Tube Sock is a fascinating creature and deserves it's place in the great clothing food chain.
The scantily clad young lady above is a porn star. She just happens to also be a model of socks for somebody. You can see more of her here. Perv!
Cross posted at Get Stewed
By Stew Magoo
Tube Sock Origins
One foggy morning in Maine at the turn of the 20th century, an artisan with cold feet and ankles
discovered something that would rock the world of sockwear forever; The Tube Sock.The Tube Sock or Soccus pes Occulto is indigenous to the North America continent. Tube Socks live an average of three years. The biggest predator to the Tube Sock is the Washing Machine. The Washing Machine, while benign to humans, can consume it's weight in Tube Socks in a month. It's frequently found lounging in a smallish den near the male of the species, The Dryer. The dryer also consumes the Tube Sock but not in the gastric extremes seen by The Washing Machine.
Mating Habits
The mating habits of the Tube Sock bear witness to the miracle of life. When two Tube Socks meet, and the timing is right, sparks can fly. The female Tube Sock will sometimes keep the male Tube Sock in the dark as to her intentions due to shyness or just being plain annoyingly female. This can cause a tremendous amount of male Tube Sock frustration and The male Tube Sock will often see the f
emale Tube Sock for the first time only RIGHT BEFORE being eaten by a passing Washing Machine. While tragic, this happens.Sock Sex
The actual sex act between the male and female of the Tube Sock species is a sight to behold. The male will hold the female closely and softly kiss the neck, paying special attention to the area right below the ears. This area is known to be highly sensetive and will often produce a tingly sensation in the female which leads to a blush and stiffening of the sock nipples. The male of the species is highly aroused by sock nipple stiffening and responds with a stiffening of its own. Younger males will rush into sock intercourse but the older males realize that making sweet sock love can be a
lenghty process only completed after several sock orgasms are experienced by the female Tube Sock.Paying special attention to the toes, the male will work it's way up and down the body of the female and will massage and pay special attention to the sock erogenous zones. The inside of the sock thighs are an especially desirable area for the male Tube Sock.
The female will signify her willingness to engage in sock intercourse by breathing heavily, blushing, showing the fullness of her lips and often by licking her lips and generally being a sock ho. Then she shows her hole to the male Tube Sock and it's on. Brown chicken, brown cow.
Tube Socks and marriage
Tube Socks are generally monogamous (if they know what's good for them according to female Tube Socks) but are often attracted by other Tube Socks. Some Tube Socks will stray from species sex and pursue Dress Socks and even Pantyhose but this is rare. When a male Tube Sock is ready to make a commitment, er be committed, he'll often produce a rock and stick it on the sock finger. This is generally a bad idea and will lead to sock weight gain, irritablity, upset sock bowels, a propensity for sock shopping, whining, nagging, general discontent and sock malaise. Often after several months or years baby Tube Socks, or diminutive socks in general will appear and cause even greater stress, whining and gnashing of sock teeth.
In closing, the Tube Sock is a fascinating creature and deserves it's place in the great clothing food chain.
The scantily clad young lady above is a porn star. She just happens to also be a model of socks for somebody. You can see more of her here. Perv!
Cross posted at Get Stewed
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
What Shanequitha Want
Shanequitha GET!
This arrived in my inbox today. It was accompanied by the following statement:
Shanethequita done voted fo' Obama five times. An' she gon' stand on that payphone without her pants on till Obama do what he say he gon' do and pay her mortgage and put gas in her car!
I'd imagine local citizenry are now taking up a collection...
This arrived in my inbox today. It was accompanied by the following statement:
Shanethequita done voted fo' Obama five times. An' she gon' stand on that payphone without her pants on till Obama do what he say he gon' do and pay her mortgage and put gas in her car!
I'd imagine local citizenry are now taking up a collection...
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