I have hesitated to post this, mainly because it's kind of mean to laugh about it, but my good sense was overpowered by my inner evil bitch, so here it is....
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Ahem, CALLING ANY BRENDA'S!
Brenda is apparently missing in action. I fear that she's been assaulted by Canadians bearing bacon. That's right, Canadian bacon... The only thing worse is serving up John Candy's rotting corpse.
So I'm posting something in an effort to lure Brenda, our benefactor, back out of hiding.
[ singing ]
We are the world... ♫
[ crickets ]
ahem, anyway back to your regularly scheduled post!
Okay, a friend sent me this picture via email and after I cracked up, got a little curious about the origins.
And I found this...
This is all three of the "Rotten Fruit" episodes back to back to back.
Crossposted at Get Stewed
So I'm posting something in an effort to lure Brenda, our benefactor, back out of hiding.
[ singing ]
We are the world... ♫
[ crickets ]
ahem, anyway back to your regularly scheduled post!
Okay, a friend sent me this picture via email and after I cracked up, got a little curious about the origins.
And I found this...
This is all three of the "Rotten Fruit" episodes back to back to back.
Crossposted at Get Stewed
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Revenge is best served in front of a video camera....
Mr.Man showed me this little clip and I've been laughing ever since...
The whole..."tries to make fun of me" really set the whole scene for this dudes frame of mind, don't you think?
The whole..."tries to make fun of me" really set the whole scene for this dudes frame of mind, don't you think?
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Friday, March 6, 2009
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Photographs Explained
YEAR: 2021
PLACE: The Caucasian Skin Farms, upstate New York
Happy clones frolic in the newly upgraded kennels at the Caucasian Skin Processing (CSP)plant as they await slaughter. The farm, which sprang up three years ago in response to the huge demand for Pink Boy/Girl Skin coats, has been the subject of much protest from the PETC foundation (People for the Ethical Treatment of Clones)for it's inhumane facility conditions.
"It was disgusting," PETC spokesman, Catherine Martin. "The clones were all spread out far apart, spending their days being forcefed massive quantities of McFeed, and rubbing lotion on their skin all by themselves in little bitty cages. It was so sad. Now that they are penned in together things are going much more smoothly and the owners haven't had to use the hose even once, which is a definite improvement."
Said one clearly elated male type clone, "Boobies and beer. Heh heh! Gug gug gug."
When asked about the recent changes to the plant, CSP manager Jame Gumb responded with the following puzzling comment, "Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard."
Saturday, February 28, 2009
For Stew...
[Because] EVERYTHING should taste like BACON...
http://www.baconnaise.com
Bacon flavored mayonnaise, y'all.
They also make Bacon Salt, which I purchased earlier today. I'm a little concerned about the potential taste, as 1) I purchased it from a store that also sells "Rap Snax" and 2) The item is clearly marked vegetarian.
On the up side, however, they brag that each serving (1/4 tsp) only contains 137 mg sodium. That can't be too bad, right?
RIGHT?!
http://www.baconnaise.com
Bacon flavored mayonnaise, y'all.
They also make Bacon Salt, which I purchased earlier today. I'm a little concerned about the potential taste, as 1) I purchased it from a store that also sells "Rap Snax" and 2) The item is clearly marked vegetarian.
On the up side, however, they brag that each serving (1/4 tsp) only contains 137 mg sodium. That can't be too bad, right?
RIGHT?!
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
There's cursing in this...
Do not click on it if you are a fscking pussy. You asshole.
Sony Releases New Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work
Found at John Sibley's; foryourentertainment.blogspot.com
Sony Releases New Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work
Found at John Sibley's; foryourentertainment.blogspot.com
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
FROM THE EMAIL.....
It is important in life to reach out, to strive for greater achievements, to go for that greener grass that is on the other side of the fence.....
BUT ONE MUST ALSO BE CAREFUL
SOMETIMES YOU CAN REACH TOO FAR!
But when you find yourself over-extended and you're stuck in a situation that you can't get out of, there is one thing you should always remember.......
YOUR GOVERNMENT IS THERE TO HELP YOU!
BUT ONE MUST ALSO BE CAREFUL
SOMETIMES YOU CAN REACH TOO FAR!
But when you find yourself over-extended and you're stuck in a situation that you can't get out of, there is one thing you should always remember.......
YOUR GOVERNMENT IS THERE TO HELP YOU!
The Mating Habits of the Tube Sock
The mating habits of the Tube Sock
By Stew Magoo
Tube Sock Origins
One foggy morning in Maine at the turn of the 20th century, an artisan with cold feet and ankles
discovered something that would rock the world of sockwear forever; The Tube Sock.
The Tube Sock or Soccus pes Occulto is indigenous to the North America continent. Tube Socks live an average of three years. The biggest predator to the Tube Sock is the Washing Machine. The Washing Machine, while benign to humans, can consume it's weight in Tube Socks in a month. It's frequently found lounging in a smallish den near the male of the species, The Dryer. The dryer also consumes the Tube Sock but not in the gastric extremes seen by The Washing Machine.
Mating Habits
The mating habits of the Tube Sock bear witness to the miracle of life. When two Tube Socks meet, and the timing is right, sparks can fly. The female Tube Sock will sometimes keep the male Tube Sock in the dark as to her intentions due to shyness or just being plain annoyingly female. This can cause a tremendous amount of male Tube Sock frustration and The male Tube Sock will often see the f
emale Tube Sock for the first time only RIGHT BEFORE being eaten by a passing Washing Machine. While tragic, this happens.
Sock Sex
The actual sex act between the male and female of the Tube Sock species is a sight to behold. The male will hold the female closely and softly kiss the neck, paying special attention to the area right below the ears. This area is known to be highly sensetive and will often produce a tingly sensation in the female which leads to a blush and stiffening of the sock nipples. The male of the species is highly aroused by sock nipple stiffening and responds with a stiffening of its own. Younger males will rush into sock intercourse but the older males realize that making sweet sock love can be a
lenghty process only completed after several sock orgasms are experienced by the female Tube Sock.
Paying special attention to the toes, the male will work it's way up and down the body of the female and will massage and pay special attention to the sock erogenous zones. The inside of the sock thighs are an especially desirable area for the male Tube Sock.
The female will signify her willingness to engage in sock intercourse by breathing heavily, blushing, showing the fullness of her lips and often by licking her lips and generally being a sock ho. Then she shows her hole to the male Tube Sock and it's on. Brown chicken, brown cow.
Tube Socks and marriage
Tube Socks are generally monogamous (if they know what's good for them according to female Tube Socks) but are often attracted by other Tube Socks. Some Tube Socks will stray from species sex and pursue Dress Socks and even Pantyhose but this is rare. When a male Tube Sock is ready to make a commitment, er be committed, he'll often produce a rock and stick it on the sock finger. This is generally a bad idea and will lead to sock weight gain, irritablity, upset sock bowels, a propensity for sock shopping, whining, nagging, general discontent and sock malaise. Often after several months or years baby Tube Socks, or diminutive socks in general will appear and cause even greater stress, whining and gnashing of sock teeth.
In closing, the Tube Sock is a fascinating creature and deserves it's place in the great clothing food chain.
The scantily clad young lady above is a porn star. She just happens to also be a model of socks for somebody. You can see more of her here. Perv!
Cross posted at Get Stewed
By Stew Magoo
Tube Sock Origins
One foggy morning in Maine at the turn of the 20th century, an artisan with cold feet and ankles
discovered something that would rock the world of sockwear forever; The Tube Sock.The Tube Sock or Soccus pes Occulto is indigenous to the North America continent. Tube Socks live an average of three years. The biggest predator to the Tube Sock is the Washing Machine. The Washing Machine, while benign to humans, can consume it's weight in Tube Socks in a month. It's frequently found lounging in a smallish den near the male of the species, The Dryer. The dryer also consumes the Tube Sock but not in the gastric extremes seen by The Washing Machine.
Mating Habits
The mating habits of the Tube Sock bear witness to the miracle of life. When two Tube Socks meet, and the timing is right, sparks can fly. The female Tube Sock will sometimes keep the male Tube Sock in the dark as to her intentions due to shyness or just being plain annoyingly female. This can cause a tremendous amount of male Tube Sock frustration and The male Tube Sock will often see the f
emale Tube Sock for the first time only RIGHT BEFORE being eaten by a passing Washing Machine. While tragic, this happens.Sock Sex
The actual sex act between the male and female of the Tube Sock species is a sight to behold. The male will hold the female closely and softly kiss the neck, paying special attention to the area right below the ears. This area is known to be highly sensetive and will often produce a tingly sensation in the female which leads to a blush and stiffening of the sock nipples. The male of the species is highly aroused by sock nipple stiffening and responds with a stiffening of its own. Younger males will rush into sock intercourse but the older males realize that making sweet sock love can be a
lenghty process only completed after several sock orgasms are experienced by the female Tube Sock.Paying special attention to the toes, the male will work it's way up and down the body of the female and will massage and pay special attention to the sock erogenous zones. The inside of the sock thighs are an especially desirable area for the male Tube Sock.
The female will signify her willingness to engage in sock intercourse by breathing heavily, blushing, showing the fullness of her lips and often by licking her lips and generally being a sock ho. Then she shows her hole to the male Tube Sock and it's on. Brown chicken, brown cow.
Tube Socks and marriage
Tube Socks are generally monogamous (if they know what's good for them according to female Tube Socks) but are often attracted by other Tube Socks. Some Tube Socks will stray from species sex and pursue Dress Socks and even Pantyhose but this is rare. When a male Tube Sock is ready to make a commitment, er be committed, he'll often produce a rock and stick it on the sock finger. This is generally a bad idea and will lead to sock weight gain, irritablity, upset sock bowels, a propensity for sock shopping, whining, nagging, general discontent and sock malaise. Often after several months or years baby Tube Socks, or diminutive socks in general will appear and cause even greater stress, whining and gnashing of sock teeth.
In closing, the Tube Sock is a fascinating creature and deserves it's place in the great clothing food chain.
The scantily clad young lady above is a porn star. She just happens to also be a model of socks for somebody. You can see more of her here. Perv!
Cross posted at Get Stewed
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
What Shanequitha Want
Shanequitha GET!
This arrived in my inbox today. It was accompanied by the following statement:
Shanethequita done voted fo' Obama five times. An' she gon' stand on that payphone without her pants on till Obama do what he say he gon' do and pay her mortgage and put gas in her car!
I'd imagine local citizenry are now taking up a collection...
This arrived in my inbox today. It was accompanied by the following statement:
Shanethequita done voted fo' Obama five times. An' she gon' stand on that payphone without her pants on till Obama do what he say he gon' do and pay her mortgage and put gas in her car!
I'd imagine local citizenry are now taking up a collection...
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Friday, January 23, 2009
Friday, January 16, 2009
I Wonder What Obama's Inauguration Speech Might Sound Like
Here is my guess:
My fellow Americans, today is a ewwwww day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "ass", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually shake.
Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces sweet and rockin challenges like never before. Our economy is damn fine. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for balls. Our healthcare system is awesome. If your booty is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a plumber. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a junk trunk. But boom booming together we can right this ship, and set a course for Mordor.
Finally, I must thank my lid flipping fantastic family, my grody campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank jedi for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of burping the American people. Without your bitchy efforts, none of this would have been possible.
Go here to write your own. It's like a Mad Lib.
My fellow Americans, today is a ewwwww day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "ass", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually shake.
Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces sweet and rockin challenges like never before. Our economy is damn fine. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for balls. Our healthcare system is awesome. If your booty is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a plumber. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a junk trunk. But boom booming together we can right this ship, and set a course for Mordor.
Finally, I must thank my lid flipping fantastic family, my grody campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank jedi for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of burping the American people. Without your bitchy efforts, none of this would have been possible.
Go here to write your own. It's like a Mad Lib.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Saturday, January 3, 2009
For someone we all know and love
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Vicks cough medicine should burn and rave at the close of day
Rage, rage against the dying of the light!
Now, would somebody please comment on this post so that Brenda will get an email? Thank you. Thankyverymush.
Vicks cough medicine should burn and rave at the close of day
Rage, rage against the dying of the light!
Now, would somebody please comment on this post so that Brenda will get an email? Thank you. Thankyverymush.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)