It's never to late to have a post about naked, pumpkin wearing joggers...

Dateline: Halloween
Location: Boulder, Colorado

An annual event, the naked pumpkin run, occurred on Friday evening. Twelve of the naked joggers were ticketed and/or arrested. Critics are coming out of the woodwork because of the citations. Seems that the cops took a rather long time to process some of the females involved in the streak/pumpkin wearing nekkidfest. Not to mention that lots of people are saying that the cops shouldn't have bothered to arrest people for being naked.

Personally I think this is a swell idea. We need more nakedness in the world today. For instance, if all Presidential and Vice-Presidential candidates were to perform the debates nekkid, we wouldn't have had to settle for the likes of John McCain. aka Mr. McWrinkles in all the wrong places.

Imagine John Murtha naked. Wait, no scratch that, Sarah Palin! And Sarah Palin naked next to Joe Biden! Wow, what an impact that would've made on conservatives... In fact, you factor in the pumpkin on the head part and just about anyone would go gaga over sweet Sarah. Even people that don't like her.

But I digress. Since this is a rated "R" blog, I can't show pictures of girls jogging with big giant bouncing jugs like I want. So instead I'll use Paint (that high quality program) and draw some pictures myself.

Here is a basic picture of naked people running. Notice that the female has smallish boobs (drawing boobs with Paint is way harder than it looks) (especially when you're as lazy as I am) and the male in the picture has blonde hair. You can tell because I drew the hair kinda blonde looking. Even the pubes are blonde looking. And how about that pecker?! Excellent rendition if I say so myself.

The woman shown here has brown hair and even though she's "smiling" in this picture, she's really mad at the blonde guy.

The blonde guy is named Todd and is a royal douche. He picks his nose and eats the boogers.

The woman with the brown hair is pissed that she's naked in public but mostly she just hates Todd.

Let's talk about the physics of this endeavor for just a sec.

When a girl goes jogging, she has a certain area (or more specifically areas) which have a tendency to bounce around and/or jiggle. While this is fun to watch, it's not exactly conducive to wearing a pumpkin on the head while participating in the jiggly action. Here, I've done another drawing! I had to do a guy because drawing boobies bouncing around in Paint sort of reminded me of drawing mushrooms and salt shakers. Which, everybody knows, has nothing to do with bouncing boobies. But ironically enough, drawing a stick figure and, the corollary, the stick penis, was quite easy. This doesn't make me gay does it? Please tell me that I'm not gay just because I drew a stick penis. Or more specifically, a stick penis flopping around...

I just didn't want to go there with the salt shakers and mushrooms. That stick figure girl is already pissed at Todd, I don't want her getting pissed at me too.

Besides, I'm quite fabulous now. FABULOUS!